What Do I Do Now?

Today...I am alone.  A rare moment that I am alone all day into the night while DH is away with my Stepson, Daughter is at her dad’s, and of course Son is away at school.  I have so much to do, I should be working but I haven't been. 

I did go on a nice ride.  My first ride out of the neighborhood and across the major, major intersection on the corner all my myself.   I have never crossed that one alone.  Either DH is with me or Son has been with me and they always look out for me.  This time it was just me.  And that big intersection is scary.  There is always somebody who pulls into the crosswalk, always somebody making a right on red into the lane as I am crossing.  I have learned to be so defensive and careful.  It is funny how much of my fear I have lost since I started riding again a year ago.  Now my only fear really is falling!

I rode down to the zoo, about 3.5 miles, and enjoyed an orange and Primal Strip vegan jerky on a bench under a tree.  I was just going to ride around and get some mileage in, but on the way into the zoo my stomach started to hurt and I suddenly realized I was starving!  It was nearly 1 o’clock by this time and I had only had fruit all day.  Glad I had grabbed the orange on my way out  just in case...and I always keep a couple of  Primal Strips in my bike bag.

After I finished snacking I rode around the zoo's large parking lot, then got bored just riding in big circles, so I rode back towards home, stopping at Publix to buy some organic tofu for my dinner tonight.  

The man in line in front of me was an enormous man, both in height and build with those extra, extra-large bodybuilder muscles.  He was buying orange juice and had another bag with a big tub of protein powder that bodybuilders use.  He looked over at me with my biking shorts and shirt, helmet in hand, and  backpack and then looked down and scanned my purchases of organic tofu, organic dried cranberry and nut mix, and tempeh.  He looked up and smiled.  It was so funny...we both had that awareness and acknowledgment of how into health and fitness we both were, yet in such different forms. 

Coming home to the empty house I parked the bike and set up my tofu on my repurposed George Foreman Tofu Press to press out.  Oddly, I am alone all the time during the week, but between the school runs, meetings, produce pickups and everybody coming home at dinner time I am not always so alone.  Or my alone time is broken up into small chunks punctuated by stuff I have to do, mostly for others in between periods of frantically working to catch up.

On this weekend  when there is a major scouting event and I didn't go, I am alone the weekend....into the night, with meals on my own and all my time my own.  I have mixed feelings about this.  Part of me feels so lonely.  Part of me is enjoying the rare taste of freedom with nobody to have to do things for except me.  Part of me wonders how the time is flying by so fast and I haven't accomplished much of what I set out to accomplish with all my alone time this weekend.

At least I got out and got some exercise in.  I have been mourning the fact that all I do is sit and I was determined to get out riding this weekend and get over my fear of riding out in the community alone without the protection of somebody stronger.  I have an outing planned for tomorrow as well. 

The pictures have been scarce lately.  I had gotten a new camera last Mother’s Day but I unwisely chose a bigger bulkier one that doesn’t fit on my bike so easily!  I will have to borrow DD’s camera that she doesn’t use so I can get some good updates on here!

I do have a great dinner planned for tonight for me and me…a vegan version of Tom Kha, the Thai coconut soup.  So Yum!!!  Hopefully I will be motivated enough to share the pix…and the recipe.

And Life Gets In The Way

One day I was blogging and the next I was not.  And the next, and the next, and the next, and then before long it was nearly two years before the next post popped up.

Sure, the blogging urge never went away and I thought about blogging, at least weekly, composing blogs in my head as I rushed through my days.  Still seeing life through my bloggie lenses…as life unfolds always thinking about how I would write that in a post. 

But between kids getting older and my now or never realization I needed to spend as much time as possible with them before they moved out, and work getting more demanding, and so many outside activities, and dealing with lots of life stuff…the actual time for sitting down to write never happened. 

And before I knew it nearly two years of unblogged, undocumented life had flown by.

So here I am, trying to get back, hoping this isn’t an isolated post that I manage to crank out in the midst of all my busy-ness. 

And nearly two years later life is so much different.  So much has happened.

My son has graduated and has gone off to college.  Big adventures for him, pride yet heartbreak for me.  I miss him a lot.

My daughter is in high school now, forging her independence fiercely, working at growing up and pushing away much harder than her brother did in a way that is common I guess for most teenage girls. 

Hard again for me as I reel from the one-two punch of my two kids stepping out on a ledge of their own at the same time.

And in another huge, life-altering event, in September 2010 we did an experimental 21-day challenge with the PCRM and tried going vegan for a three-week period.   That three-day challenge showed so much promise in how we felt that here in March 2010 we are still living a 100% plant-based lifestyle.  And feeling great.  A healthy lifestyle is now the theme of our lives, not only from the way we eat but extending to the smaller, greener footprint we have and very active lifestyle we have gravitated towards as we now lean towards being a car-lite cycling family.  Needless to say in many ways we are feeling and looking great.

And so that is where I am today.  A little update to let the world know I am older, but still finding my way to fit and fabulous and even closer than I was when I was last here.

Looking forward to getting back on the path.

The Wind In My Face….Then Out Of My Sail

Today I logged in my 50th (and  51st and 52nd) mile on my mission to walk a minimum of 300 miles by the end of this year.

I have made sure I get out walking at least three days a week if not four, and been trying to add extra steps during my day, tracking them with this (untrustworthy I believe) little guy!The past few days I have been having some lots of frustration for me in that I don’t feel I am shaving any time off of my miles!  

In trying to think of improvements, I definitely feel a little more sure in my steps and don’t fear falling as much.  I do think my legs have a little more strength to them and are not as wobbly. 

We have way too high front steps with no banisters…and at my worst I had to hang on to the column for support to get down the steps and make sure I landed on perfectly even ground…or I would go down the steps the hard way!!!  I did realize this morning that while I do not bound down the steps, I also don’t have to put a death grip on the column to go down them either.

Perhaps the walking. 

Perhaps the fact that legs have 30 pounds less to lug around.

Perhaps a combination of the two.

And so I get towards my point…

I walk around the perimeter of a large squarish-shaped, open field park, 7/8 mile for one lap.  This morning it was quite windy!  Around two of the sides the wind was fierce, blowing right towards me and into my face and I had to work hard against it.  Sometimes I felt I was on a treadmill, walking in place!

But it was also very warm today and I left my water bottle in the car so I wouldn’t have to carry it.   I pushed hard…sweating…breathing hard…trying to speed up as fast as my poor legs could manage, even against the resistance of the wind.   I really want to start bringing my time down.

And then on my third lap around this runner passed me.  Dressed in a large hat, black pants, a long-sleeved black jacket, and a thick towel wrapped around her neck like a winter scarf.   I was actually starting to feel a little bad from the heat…pushing mid80s today…and she was running in this, (running past me of course) dressed for the 50s!

It kind of kicked me down a notch mentally…but physically I still  pushed harder and a little faster. 

Then this other lady passed me…she was about my age and weight.    And she was simply walking, not running, not jogging, not power walking.   She was simply walking.  Not breaking a sweat…she looked like she was out for a casual stroll.   But she “casually strolled” right by me and left me in the dust like I was standing still.  I couldn’t believe how far ahead she was within 5 minutes after going by me!

And that just took the wind right out of my sail.   I don’t know why I let it.  I know it is not a competition.   But I am competitive by nature…even if I am competing with myself.  And I started having all of these negative thoughts inside my head!

Why isn’t my time coming down?

Why aren’t I making progress?

What if I am never going to be able to gain strength and get faster?

What if there is no UP for me, and where I am today is the best I will ever be!!!

I was set to do one more lap…but I gave up and went to the car and went home. 

I  am not giving up…I still have hope, and I also know that no matter what speed I am, it is vital for me to be out there pushing my legs or I will definitely deteriorate. 

But on this one windy day the wind sure blew out of my sail quickly!

Back to home…I talked to my mom on the phone, worked a little, and crossed some things off my to-do list, goofed off a little..and all of a sudden it was 1 ‘clock (how did that happen?) and I was starving!!!

Once again I did a quick scroungefest for lunch…looking to see what the fridge had to offer me!

• A baggie of cooked lentils, leftover from when I cooked way too many last week for a lentil salad dinner.

• A sweet and crunchy organic carrot.

• Organic grape tomatoes!

• EVOO and balsamic (not in fridge!)

• and a red organic pear (that everybody keeps mistaking for an apple around here.)

Other than a minute or three for some carrot and tomato chopping and dicing…this came together in no time flat!  And was so filling I couldn’t even finish it. Red pear was on the side…not in the salad..although  that may have actually been kind of interesting to try!

Then look what was taunting me…singing to me…left next to my computer this morning (I type on my laptop on the dining room table!).

I  had to buy one!

Of course I picked the healthiest one (wink wink)

I have to say I am SPOILED!  Compared to all of the high-end organic dark chocolate brands I usually buy, this tasted awful!   Look at that paltry sprinkle of chopped almonds in there..three little bits on the left side! 

I don’t care what they say, this is certainly not The World’s Finest!

I am kind of glad though…I will not be tempted  to buy more of these!

Now…off to work on the taxes.  Have I ever mentioned I was a CPA before I had kids?   LOL…kind of embarrassing…I don’t think waiting until April 14 is very CPA like! 

Blogger Giveaways

Some more great blogger giveaways I have come across this week!

Amanda from Run To The Finish has a great motivating giveaway going on now.  The Three Changes Challenge inspires you to make three small changes in your life that will make an impact on your lifestyle or goals.  She has a bunch of great prizes for this challenge!  My daughter wants me to win just so she can get the Subway GC!

I chose to limit my computer time outside of work, drink a minimum of  54 ounces of water daily, and to add resistance band training to my weekly walking to try to strengthen my muscles!  Of course I just ate an hour of my computer “fun time” on this post!

Tricia from Endurance Isn’t Only Physical is back with another giveaway as well from GE to help promote National Women’s Health Week.  You can win a $20 health-themed gift card for entering this one.

My Weight Path in 2009

2009 started a whole new way of eating living for me my family.

My weight has always been an up and down source of frustration for my.  Highest after my pregnancies, of course, lowest after my divorce!

In 2002 when I met my husband I was at a low weight, felt great, and looked great too!

FabHubs loved to cook too!  He would make all sorts of wonderful meals for me.  One morning he surprised me at home with a cooler…and in the cooker was homemade sausage gravy and homemade biscuits…all from scratch too!  They were still warm from the oven at his house.

Over the course of the next four years, he began to do all of the cooking in the house, and I began to gain weight. 

By 2009 I was at my all-time high, and weighed more than 50 pounds higher than I was when I  first met FabHubs.

I weighed slightly more than I did in the ninth month of my first pregnancy!!!

Compound this with getting older as well as a form of muscular dystrophy that I have which makes my legs very weak, in 2009 I found myself in the worst shape of my life.

Even though I have never been able to do everything physically that everyone else could, I have always pushed myself to try to do as much as I can.  I have camped, hiked, spent a summer physically active in Israel, gone to the gym, and more…even when it was uncomfortable or I just couldn’t do it like everyone else could.

But I had let myself go…..and by spring 2009 I couldn’t do basic outdoor physical activities without assistance.  I have always prided myself on being independent…but this gradually came to a halt and more and more I was finding I had to depend on my husband for help.  This really frightened and upset me!

When camping, on the air mattress on the floor, I was unable to get up by myself.  FabHubs had to pick me up.   Same if I fell down…and because my legs were so weak, I fell easily.  If I stepped wrong and my foot didn’t land flat on the floor, if I bumped into something and it threw me off balance, or if someone ran into me…down I would go.  And once I fell down, I needed to be picked up…I couldn’t get up myself.  If I was alone I had to  struggle to get to a chair or couch or something…and then somehow get myself up…a total exertion, and an exhausting, frustrating, humiliating process.

Sometimes one of my legs would just buckle…and that was that…down I went!

Even though I wasn’t even over 200 pounds, my poor weak legs just couldn’t handle  what they had to carry around.

Between January and June 2009 I found that I was falling more and more frequently!!  And that frightened me.

I began to find more and more that I was unable to get up from many chairs…chairs without arms, low chairs and benches, even  folding camping chairs…FabHubs would have to pick me up from them.   Doctor’s office waiting rooms,  mall sofas, movie theater chairs, even restrooms….all became areas that most people sit down to rest without a second thought, but for me, many times I would just stand rather than sit down and take a chance I could not get up.  And that frightened me!

Stairs…daunting for people with this disease at a normal weight, became almost impossible.   You may as well have been asking me to tackle Mt. Everest.

Even walking was starting to get difficult.   I could make a mile on a walking course…but by two miles I would be concerned that my now tired legs would give out and I would fall.

This disease runs in the family….my mother and aunt both have it too.  And neither of them have taken care of themselves.   I could easily see where I would/could be in 25 years.  And that frightened me too!

By nature I love being active  and am a thrill-seeker.  After my divorce  I jumped out of an airplane, as a teen I hiked to the top of Mt. Masada and worked on a kibbutz, I loved being on the back of a racing rice rocket (those fast Japanese motorcycle!!!) and learned to drive them myself (the only reason I never got one was again the weakness….I worried about my legs, and that I didn’t have the strength to pick it up if I dropped the bike!)

I LOVE the outdoors…hiking…canoeing….the mountains.  I don’t mind roughing it at camp.  And while I have never been able to do everything I have wanted physically and have always needed some type of help….or was always the last one in….still, I had always been able to make it.

And now I finally realized that I may not be able to do any of these things anymore.

And that frightened me!!!!!

I did do not want to be some wheelchair-bound, dependent  old lady…especially at the young age of 50 or 60 (I am not there yet!!!!)

And the only one who would be able to prevent that is ME!!!

And so in June 2009 I finally decided to take matters into my own hands!!!

To Be Continued……

Losing Balance In A Hectic Week

Since last Saturday, this week has been very unusual food-wise to say the least. 

My nutrition has definitely been off, although I have still managed to keep what I have eaten on the healthy side and thankfully not succumbed to the dark side, as my kids love to call junk food now.

With my kids gone and a light work load, I saved all of my Christmas shopping  and running around until this week.

I would leave the house and not end up back until almost 11 p.m.!

And believe me, then I sure didn’t feel like cooking!  And I have found that healthy eating habits require a certain amount of planning and preparation so when hungry and it is late, it is very easy to turn to the dark side!

Saturday, Sunday, and Monday, FabHubs and I ended up sort of scrounging around the fridge and digging out leftovers….no real meals were eaten, and more importantly, not much fresh fruits and veggies were being eaten!

This stressed me physically, because now my body does crave the fresh fruits and veggies regularly, but it is also stressed me mentally because the produce box from last week was sitting…and sitting produce quickly turns to rotting produce!  I have not been able to eat enough from it yet.

By Tuesday I had had enough of this and I did a little planning in advance, by making a large pot of brown rice to keep in the fridge.  I figured if the rice only had to be reheated, the rest of the meals would come together quickly.

But Tuesday night again we ended up out late.   By 10:30 (p.m.) I was ravenous!  I had only eaten an oatmeal breakfast and a homemade juice before I left the house.

My mom didn’t want to eat…and when FabHubs met up with me after work, the little sneaker had already eaten something!

I finally dragged FabHubs to this little Asian restaurant in the mall to get something to go for me.  He is not a fan of Asian food and I am a big fan…so I took this opportunity to enjoy some….even if I was kind of irritable by this point.

They had bubble tea…which I have never had!  So I ordered one to sip on while I waited.  I ordered an eggplant stirfry (I looooooveee eggplant…and FabHubs doesn’t, so another opportunity taken).  This turned out to be an appetizer, so I had to order a side of brown rice to go with it.

I tore right into it in the car…I was so hungry I  forgot to pull out my camera first!  So the pictures of my pretty much demolish meal came once I got home!

I love those little purple eggplants too!  I have never bought them…I always get the big one.

Here is my bubble tea!  For my first one I just went with the plain simple tea.  I enjoyed it…between the bubble tea and scarfing down my dinner I ended up being so full I left over a bunch of bubbles!

LOL…Cookie is waiting for me to hurry up so we can go to bed!

After I ate all that I WAS SORRY!  It tasted good…but I was too full and uncomfortable!  I don’t like to eat late at night and that is just what I did.

I went from being uncomfortably hungry to uncomfortably full. 

I know I need to practice better balance sometimes….but sometimes things just get a little too chaotic and it gets difficult!

Have you been keeping balance in your life this holiday season? 

Have you put any special practices in place to make sure you stay balanced?

Overwhelmed, Overtired, and Overdone….Is It Over Yet?

By 6:30 a.m., while walking back from the bus stop for FabStepSon, I realized was already done for the day…exhausted, and spent the walk back trying to figure out where I might be able to crawl back into bed and sneak a snooze!

But with a list like this for today:

that was just not a reality…so back to the house I went, to rouse FabPreteen and start getting child #2 ready for the day!  Get her up, make her breakfast and lunch…shower, get dressed…all that was in the plan.

“Mom, I don’t have any clean uniforms!”

UGH!

So after a rushed load of laundry and everything done, off to school we went (in a slightly damp uniform shirt)…so I could come back and hit the ground running.  Again.

It doesn’t help that I have gone to bed no earlier than 12:30 a.m. the last three (or four?  I cannot remember!) nights. 

And it doesn’t help that my alarm cheerily goes off every morning at 6:05 whether I want it to or not.

Today all the running has caught up with me and I am tired, grumpy, and ready to crash…this isn’t how it is supposed to be, is it?  but of course today my list is the longest.

I am constantly running on the edge of overwhelm…putting out fires as they need to be put out and not managing to get to the smoldering stuff until they become raging fires…and many times I have too many fires going on to handle all of them effectively.

How do other working moms balance it all?  House, job, kids, school, hobbies….sometimes I am just overwhelmed.

So today we come back to being guilty of leaving the teachers’ presents until the last minute…yes…I have to get them today!

And yes…I promised FabPreteen that I would take her and her BFF to see New Moon on the new moon, today, before she leaves for Canada for the week.

And while I didn’t commit personally…somehow (casting a finger at FabPreteen here) I have to run to Publix to get the Caesar salad I was volunteered to bring to the class party tomorrow…and the gift for the Secret Santa. 

And while there I will probably have to run to CVS to pick up something for the kids for Hanukkah tonight….

And have I mentioned that I haven’t done the first lick of shopping for Christmas yet?…

But hey..that fire isn’t raging yet, I can wait until next week when all kids are gone…after all, I will be looking for something to do, won’t I?

 

Quick run through of my eats today:

I love pink grapefruit…and we got three in our box!  I have to fight FPT over these….she didn’t have enough time to eat this half so I stole it from her…hee hee.

 

Today’s oats were yesterday’s daydream.  The bananas were finally ripe enough to start eating…oats/almond butter/cacao nibs/banana slices.

HEAVENLY!  OMG this was soooo good!

 

Into my Oh She Glows box to try some of the delicious teas she sent me…since I was too lazy to make coffee. 

I opted for this one…..

And then followed the directions on the back, making it with almond milk, to make a yummy Chai tea!

Although the quantity was a little less than satisfying…I had been hoping for a full cup.

 

This held me for a while, until lunchtime.  We got more of this yesterday…and this is to die for!

 

The ingredient list, however is a little scary with the peanut butter and canola oil…I am somewhat nervous about how many points this has and there is no NI on the bottle for me to figure it out.  I limited myself to one heaping tablespoon. 

 

I really wanted a wrap with this, with an Asian style veggie burger…but I am worried about the baba ganoush going bad so I ended up with a scoop of that.

And I am so sad….I am all out of my Mary’s crackers and had to suffer through all that I could scrounge up….some Ritz! 

I finished up with one of the mandarin oranges I got on Monday…but the picture seems to have disappeared so you will have to imagine it…it was sweet and sprayed juice all over the place…and now I have to leave for a 2 p.m. child pickup!  (to be ready for a 3 p.m. appointment I have which hopefully ends before I have to pick up the BFF at 4 p.m…..to be to the movies by 5 p.m…..have I told you I am tired today?)

I Have Lost Ten Pounds

WAIT!  Hold your congratulations! 

Alas…I have not lost the ten pounds…the other night as were getting ready for bed, FabHubs hopped on the scale (yes,  at night…after dinner) and said, “Well, I have hit the 10-pound mark.”

This is FabHubs.  He of the rugged, muscled, strong, already thin enough, blessed metabolism variety.

He who eats triple helpings of dessert and three-egg omelets with 3 slices bacon and 3 slices sausage, plus toast and grits without a second thought.

He who will eat three-quarters of a meat lover’s pizza in a single sitting.

Yes…I am down 22 pounds since July 20.  But that is intentional and I have not eaten even a quarter of what he has eaten….I have worked very hard for my weight loss and his is accidental incidental….and my fault because his dinners (and only his dinners that I cook) have been lightened up!

Boy I tell you…life sure isn’t fair!!!!!

HMMPPHHH!

(Be nice…this is after two days of canoeing and an overnight on the river!)

Down With The Count….

Counting that is…and while my counting efforts are down, my weight loss is not!

Over the last five weeks now I have hovered up and down between the same three weights.  I had no doubt that by the end of November I would have crossed another 0 and be in the 160s…a sure victory!  And I was pretty excited about this.

But that has not happened at all.

And I am kind of frustrated.

When I first started Weight Watchers back on July 20 I counted my points religiously.  I weighed, measured, and entered in my online tracker everything that went into my mouth.

I entered recipes into the recipe tracker and carefully divided the portions so I would know what I was getting.

I hoarded my weekly allowance points for the weekends when FabHubs would cook his mega-point breakfasts.

And my weight slowly but steadily went down!  I ate well…but tracked well.  And while the weight never dropped like a rock, it descended steadily at a beautiful and encouraging pace.

And then as I began to drop more and more processed foods and meat products from my diet I began to stop measuring.  After all, most of the points were in the meat…not the veggies!

But after five weeks it is clear that just because I am eating a mainly plant-based diet, the weight is not going to come off on its own. 

Somehow and I really am not sure where…I am getting too many points for my body.

I think it is a combination of too many points AND I really really really need to find a way to make time to exercise daily.   The time is still a problem for me….

• I work,
• I blog,
• I have a camping website,
• I do Boy Scouts,
• I do Girl Scouts (and am the cookie chairperson for our troop….with cookie sales starting NOW!),
• I am room mom in my daughter’s school and help in the school  and go on all the field trips,
• I am the coordinator for my neighborhood’s weekly organic produce delivery,
• I cook,
• I run the house,
• and I am sure there is more I can’t think of right now!

I need more hours in the day!

But back to the topic at hand.

I am still paying for my WW online program but I am not using it right now…and that has to change.

I need to focus!  I need to set goals!  I guess the new year coming is the perfect time for that, isn’t it!

I need to track my points and commit to exercise!

Overall by the time July 20, 2010 comes around I  would like to have reached my goal and be down 50 pounds from where I started. 

After floundering and flip-flopping up and down, I think it is time to recommit to my goals.

The year-end is approaching, a great time to review your year and to commit or recommit to your goals.

Have you started thinking about yours yet?

On The Hunt For Tonight’s Plan

This week’s produce box also yielded this!

Aren’t they cute?  They are baby bok choy.  I put my phone in the pic so you can see how small and cute they really are!

They need to be eaten…tonight!  The leaves are starting to wilt! 

I bought those green bags from a boy fundraising for his band…but the jury is still out on whether they are working or not.  The baby bok choy don’t seem to have passed the test!

Anyway…I think I made these once before…the big ones though, not baby, in a meat stir fry.  As of yet I have no clue what to do with them today!  It will probably be a stir fry of some kind…the box also had a huge hunk of ginger and a garlic bulb so some of these will go in there too.  I also have some frozen shrimp and I just might surprise and delight the FabFamily tonight by throwing it in there. 

Still have to figure out the sauce though……FabHubs is not a soy sauce stir fry fan so I have to be careful what I add. 

As far as the rest of today was concerned:

Breakfast was the same old boring usual with a few little twists…but I do love what I am eating so boring is okay.

At 6:15 a.m. while trying to finish up FabTeen’s breakfast, FabStepson’s lunch..and run FSS over to the bus stop by 6:30 I gulped down an espresso….with sugar.  I know!

I then dashed back home to finish up FabTeen’s breakfast and lunch…I made us both Green Monsters and gulped that down.

Working on my third morning shift of breakfast and lunch for FabPrettn and driving her to school, I had oatmeal/almond milk/ water/naners/almond butter…and I tossed in the last of the organic blackberries I got on Monday.  YUM! 

After coming back but before starting work I had another foamy homemade eggnog latte but I didn’t snap a picture.   You will have to look at yesterday’s if you want to see it!  It was really good…and I even liked the cinnamon on it!

This didn’t hold me until lunchtime though…so I decided to make a juice.  Everything organic…but this time the only things from the box was the parsley.  This is a new addition to my juices but I am trying to use it up (I have two bunches now) and it actually adds a very clean and refreshing flavor to the juice.

Before:

After:

The colors are so pretty!

This was in the Prevention magazine I got yesterday and so I am trying to commit to following this routine at least three to four times a week.  I need to do something!  I may be doing okay with the eating….but I am really sucking in the exercise department.  This chair gyrokinesis is perfect for me since I cannot get up and down from the floor.  I did some of it today and it felt good.  I need to really set up a goal to make this happen regularly…my body really really really needs it.

Shortly after that, lunch called.  I had last night’s leftovers and boy did the flavors meld nicely overnight! 

I topped it with 1 TBS of raisins…and we were out of raw cashews so  I opened the can of roasted cashews I bought from our Girl Scout fundraiser.  I used 1 tablespoon of those too…chopped up so they would go further.

On Monday I also got some Cara Cara or blood oranges, which I had never had before.  They are supposed to be naval but they did have seeds…and I expected them to be “bloodier” looking that that…they really looked like a pink grapefruit inside!  I got five of them Monday.  FabPreteen ate one on Monday and when I looked today one was starting to rot!  So those are on the “”Need to Eat” list now! 

I cut one up and had it with lunch.  It is sweet and okay….these weren’t the best oranges I have ever had though.  I don’t know whether it was these particular oranges or this variety, although I suspect it is just these oranges.

Finally…a little indulgence.   Also from the Girl Scout fundraiser, choco-covered raisins.  These are HUGE!  Big like grapes!  I wish they were dark, I am loving the dark chocolate as I get older.  They are not…but they were still good.

One big thing I have learned over the past few months is that is possible for me to take a measured amount of something, like a tablespoon of nuts, or 1/2 tablespoon of almond butter…or in this case 4 or 5 of the raisins, and enjoy that, rather than having a huge heaping scoop of something that is full of fat…or keeping the can of nuts or raisins out and having mindless handfuls. 

It is a nice balance between having a nice treat and feeling deprived. 

Trying To Coming Back

First I would like to thank you for your warmth  and sentiments last week.   It is still hard to believe….I thought she would easily pass 100!

We spent most of the week at my mom’s house.  Through Saturday night anyway.  I brought my computer with me all week, to the hospital and then to my mom’s house but I was struggling to keep up with work (the paying kind, not my fun blogging kind) in short snatches of time that I could grab here and there.   Unfortunately when you are self-employed and dependent on that income it is difficult to take time off so I plugged away.

Sunday we decided we needed to come back home and start taking care of the kids and house and work again.   I had a mountain of work to catch up on and all of my free time (then and up until now) has been spent chipping away at that mountain so I can be all caught up for a change!

In addition, that wonderful produce box that I go pick up every other or every week….well the owner has been trying to get a delivery going in my neighborhood and guess who is the coordinator for that delivery?  YEP!  ME!  I know…I needed something else to do didn’t I! 

And so we spent Sunday decluttering, sweeping, mopping, and scrubbing in preparation for the delivery on Monday.  AND I had no food.  I mean NO FOOD!  We hadn’t had time to go to the store all week and for the most part there were tons of platters at my mom’s (although I think my family will groan at the thought of eating another bagel in the next six months) so we ate there…but on Sunday at home I was grasping at freezer, pantry, and whatever I could to make a meal happen.  We did have produce we hadn’t been home to eat from last week’s delivery…but that was pretty much it!

So  that is where I have been hiding all week.  Behind the computer with no time to blog.  I have been keeping up the healthy habits and taking pictures, I just haven’t had time to post them all. 

I have lots to share too!  I want to share how well I did all week at my mom’s….and how  great the Peace River was, both in beauty, fun, and how well I did with my food!  I also want to share all the healthy Yums that were jam packed into the box I got from Oh She Glows Angela!

FabTeen went to the opera tonight (HUH????)  and kidnapped my camera so pix are definitely not coming tonight…hopefully soon though.

My weight isn’t down as much as I would like…but it isn’t up either.  I think I have been glued to the computer way too much and am not getting any activity.

Eating Healthy In A Junk Food World…Odd Woman Out

First, look what I made this morning! 

We have had these pomegranates and nobody wants to deal with them.  FabPreteen and I ate some of them….but I hate swallowing the seeds and hate spitting them out, although I love those beautiful ruby gems….they look so pretty and taste so good.

At any rate, I couldn’t let them go to waste, so I cut and peeled and seeded and blended and strained, and after about half an hour of work I ended up with this!

Tastes great….but lots of work.   When I get more pomegranates in my produce box I will juice them….but I won’t go out of my way to buy them to make juice!  Good thing I work at home.

The Healthy Eating Part

Tomorrow at this time I will be leisurely cruising down the Peace River in a canoe.  (FabHubs does most of the paddling…it sure is leisurely for me!)

We will be sleeping pulling over and setting up camp tomorrow night somewhere along the river, and then  putting in again the next morning.  

This is one of my favorite trips, an annual trip our Boy Scout troop makes.   Only thing is, this is my first major campout since I have been transitioning our eating habits and it really opens my eyes to just how cocooned my food world has become.

I surround myself with organic produce boxes, healthy eating blogs and lifestyles, nutritional books to read, and the organic section of the grocery store.  And that has become my world!  And when I step out of the cocoon reality sure hits hard!

What do you mean the rest of the world still eats junk food and artificially processed crap!  Don’t They Know????? (Gee…I sound like a reformed smoker, don’t I?!?!)

So this weekend the “troop cook” will be bringing along muffins and cereal with milk for breakfast, hot dogs for lunch, and spaghetti with meat sauce (jarred!) for dinner.  Kool-aid type stuff for drinks (I have never been a drinker of that stuff….I do have some healthy roots!) 

I asked for some veggies and fruits…and he said maybe, he would try.  (He proudly proclaims that he doesn’t eat anything green!  Never has, never will!)

And when I asked about healthier, meatless options for lunch and dinner, he said he would bring some lettuce for me.  Or that I was on my own.

So, while FabHubs and FabSS will be happy to eat the hot dogs and jarred spaghetti sauce…..FabTeen and I will be paying $18 a piece for food (everybody pays that) but still packing our own.  Sigh…..

This morning I am off to Whole Foods to get some fruits, veggies, garden burger type things, packets of almond butter, and other yummy snacky and meal things for us.  The bottles of water are already in the freezer so I am prepared there.

I will be getting some individual packs of almond or rice milk and packing along some Amazing Grass to make some shakes.  No blender, so no Green Monsters…but all will still be good.

I guess I have to take that Boy Scout motto to heart….I will Be Prepared!

But seriously, whether camping, or going out to dinner, or to a party, or on a school field trip, I have found that in order to have delicious satisfying meals out in the real world, I have to do a lot of planning, preparing, and packing. 

Eating consciously sure is a lot of work….and as I peeled and seeded and blended and strained my pomegranates this morning, all for a little shot of juice, I can see how easy it is for someone who is not committed to this lifestyle to succumb to the speed and ease of processed packaged foods.  

I am glad I have the mindset, and the time, to be committed!

If I don’t get back on today, have a great weekend everybody and I will back with some beautiful river and camping pictures!

Struggling

As usual, I am fine when I am eating at home, but eating outside of the house is a real struggle for me.

And this week  has been a whirlwind of a week.  Starting with last Saturday, we had a Rosh Hashanah dinner out, which also served as a birthday dinner for my dad and husband (each with their own cake of course!).

Wednesday night came another birthday dinner out for Husband.

Friday night we were out at a field trip with the school and ate at Golden Corral.  Yes…I am still a sucker for their fried chicken and I had one piece, a thigh, with skin.

Saturday out at a Girl Scout event all day….only hot dogs and  chips available…and I ate one of each (not one chip…one bag though!).

Saturday night, on to the Boy Scouts with a local campout for our troop that lasted through Sunday.  I ate the chili and rice that was dinner.   And a taste of the two Dutch Oven cakes that were dessert.

Sunday morning  breakfast I loaded up my omelet with veggies.   But still.

Sunday night, dinner at our daughter’s house….with homemade pasta Alfredo and garlic bread and homemade cookies.  With no lunch I was hungry but I still took about a cup and a half of  pasta with some sauce on it.  And while everyone else had two and three slices of garlic bread I limited myself to one, but I still had one and felt  guilty for that.  And depressed that I feel guilty for wanting to have a piece of garlic bread along with every one else.   And the cookies were large…so I cut one into fourths and a quarter of a cookie. 

I never take seconds…and I take reasonable helpings.  But still…after all of that, the scale is still UP a pound from last week.  It  takes me two to three weeks to knock one pound off…and one week to easily put it right back on!

And today…not because of the weight, I don’t know what though…I am emotionally down and frustrated.  I have to go to the grocery store for the week today, and even meal planning is proving to be challenging for me at the moment.  I don’t know what to do for dinner…I am tired of the same old stuff..and I don’t want anything too complicated.  But I am feeling overwhelmed by choosing right now.

And finally, we are coming up on a month for the BL  weigh in and I really thought I would have more than 3 lbs off in a month…which is where I stand as of this morning!

I really need to get back on my wagon. 

Eating Out

Tomorrow marks two months since I started Weight Watchers.   Counting back, I realize that since I started, I have eaten out exactly twice.  One night we were in a pinch for time and going to a meeting so we grabbed Little Caesar's pizza.  The other was for the Teenager’s birthday at the Thai restaurant.  But all well within my point limits for the week. 

While I love going out to eat, it wasn’t something we did several times a week anyway…it was  usually a treat, maybe three or four times a month just because of $$.

But while counting points over the last eight weeks, I have noticed several things have happened.

I don’t seem to want to eat anywhere but home anymore!

In thinking about this, I think it comes down to three main reasons with the first one being the biggest reason, but the others playing a role as well.

First reason is the desire for CONTROL over my food intake.  When I eat at home, I am much more in CONTROL of what I am eating.   I can eat well, be very satisfied, and still stay within my point range.

When I eat out or even at someone’s house, I have a lot more temptation dangling in front of me and I usually end up eating  more points than I should be having, and more points than I would be eating at home.  Basically I am losing control.

Second is my desire to eat HEALTHIER.  I have noticed that, while I have always had a bent towards alternative foods and health remedies, more recently, starting with the Amazing Grass shake, I have started to incorporate more and more organic and healthy living changes into my and my family’s diet.   Many healthy organic foods are high in fat so I still need to watch what I am switching to, but I can definitely see an evolution in my way of eating….and this is much harder to incorporate when eating out. 

I can’t say I have no desire for junk at all…I can easily see going out to a breakfast buffet and still getting myself in trouble!!!  But it is easier to lessen this desire when I am in my own environment, buying and cooking my own foods.

Also, I love knowing exactly what is going into what we are eating, as well as the environment in which it is prepared.  I don’t know why…lately I have a growing aversion to restaurant kitchens…their cleanliness, their prep methods. 

Finally, I am enjoying saving $$.  More and more when we were going out I would feel irritated, for example that I would pay $7 for a glass of Merlot when I could buy the same bottle for $11.99.  Or  $40.00 for breakfast at Denny’s for the five of us, that we can prepare at home for around $10.  

Maybe the flip side of the control issue is the fear of not being able to control my intake….is that something I need to address?  I don’t know.  I have never been a binge eater so I am not worried about losing control in that respect, it is more the fact that I usually prefer the unhealthy fatty choices over the leaner healthier choices (give me Alfredo over Marinara any day!)

How does everybody else handle the eating out while trying to lose weight dilemma?

The Good News and The Bad News

BLECH! Durn weigh-in results!!!

The Good News is that I didn't gain weight. (that is if you don't count my little cheat hop on the scale on Friday morning where I had been down from Monday by 2 pounds and if you did, would have made me have gained 2 pounds!...but nope, it is not official and I am not counting it!)

But The Bad News is that I didn't lose weight.

That's right....as of today I am EXACTLY THE SAME AS LAST MONDAY'S WEIGH-IN. UGH!!!!

I was active, I was down in LBs, I was mostly good....how could a little bit of dump cake make me go up? AARRGGGHH!

Anyway...despite all appearances attitude is still good. Physically I am feeling great and I think that is what is driving me. I am back in full force today.

I have noticed a trend in my weight loss though. It seems that I stay the same for two weigh-ins in a row, gain a pound of discouragement (and weight) the next week, and then BAM, drop 2-3 pounds in the next weigh-in for about an overall, long-term average of one-pound per week (not exact math here).

And this isn't a precise pattern....but it is always pretty similar. A few weeks of plateau, an up...and then a big drop. Don't know why. But I sure am expecting that drop next week!

Hello Scale...you better watch out!

Keep On Keepin’ On

 

Weight Thoughts

Today is a really weird, up and down kind of day. 

I have some frustrations that it seems the weight is not coming off,  and I have bounced back and forth between FEELING fat and then oddly enough, feeling like my tummy is a little down.  I don’t know!!!  AARRGGH!

I am avoiding stepping in the scale until Monday since I weighed in for WW this past Monday and then again for BL2009 yesterday.

I do know I have been working hard…this is Week 7 of Weight Watchers and for the life of me I can’t figure out why, with staying on program for all of these weeks now and even adding walking to the routine, I was UP this week or why my clothes don’t seem to feel any looser, or why it is going so sloooowwww!

What I Am Eating

As far as my meals today, I have gone a little “pointier” than usual.  I like to keep my breakfasts during the week around 3, no more than 4 points.  But today I opted for a bowl of cereal which included one cup of Kashi GoLean Crunch, one cup of mixed berries, one cup of Almond Milk, and one espresso for a total of 5.5 points.

I didn’t have the Green Monster for breakfast today and I noticed by 11:00 I was fighting a nap.  I had a ton of work to finish, today is run around and pick up kids day…and all I wanted to do was go to sleep! 

So for snack I made myself a GM, along with 3 fresh figs that were just calling my name.   This came to a total of 4 more points and I haven’t even had lunch yet.  I know I can’t make it to dinner without eating something either so I will need to have a low-point lunch along the way now, or dip into my weekly allowance points later on. 

But now I already feel less tired and have more energy…so this concoction seems to be working well.  I  have committed myself to having one a day for 30 days to see if I have noticeable benefits…and so far so good.

BL Blogs

Finally, over the next couple of days I would like to spend some time going around to the BL2009 blogs and getting to know some of the other BL ladies.  So far I am thrilled that I have figured out how to add them to my blog list…heck….I even figured out how to make a blog list!  But all of that takes time and somewhere in there I am expected to actually get some JOB work done!  Imagine. 

A Mystery Solved

Once upon a time I was a skinny. Really I was! Then I got married to a cook. Not a professional cook...but someone who loves to cook. Only problem is he loves to cook fattening fried, yummy Southern food. And over the course of seven years with him my weight has ballooned up about 60 pounds. YES! 60 pounds!

I have sort of half-heartedly blamed my weight gain on him...but now that I have seriously undertaken the counting of points...I have started to enter his recipes into the recipe builder and...HORRORS!!! Most of his recipes, especially those smorgasboard weekend breakfasts, have pretty much as many points as I am allowed in a day.

I take back the half-heartedly and launch a full-heartedly blame at him!!!

Yes, the mystery has been solved.

Week Two Finishes...and All Is Well

So far so very good...and I feel great! I was worried, stressed, nervous, and concerned that I would be hungry and not be able to stick to this...especially with my fabulous cook of a husband and his traditional weekend breakfasts!

But so far I have managed to stay within my points and enjoy some great meals!

Today is the last day of Week Two and I have 3.5 of my weekly allowance left over, and I didn't touch the 4 APs I managed to earn this week!

YAY Me!!!!

Week One, which I didn't report, I was down 6 lbs. Weigh-In for Week Two will be tomorrow. I am kind of excited. I don't FEEL down in weight...but I cheated on weighing in during the week (mostly because I have been eating so well I didn't feel like I was losing and had to peek!) and I know I am down at least 2 pounds.

Two weeks into this I realize a few things:

I never took "starting" photos. I do have photos of me...but it would have been nice to get some posed photos for comparison as I lose weight. I will try to do a monthly photo comparison.

I never took measurements. I bought the measuring tape...even went so far one night as to bring my WW journal and the tape measure into the bedroom so I could take the measurements in the morning...but in the morning I forgot all about it!!!!! Another thing I want to do ASAP.

Also....as blogs go, so far this is a BLAHG! I need to start adding more photos. My intentions starting out were to make this a meal journal, mainly a photo journal of my meals, but I have been quite remiss on this. Maybe I can step that up!

Planning is crucial for me! If I plan my meals, snacks, desserts...then I seem to have less trouble staying in points. Also, I do have a few low-point meals that are delicious and filling...that I LOVE. Having these have helped me on days when I want to be conservative in my points and not go over my dailies.

I do find that there are many changes in the plan since I was on it years ago that have made it much easier for me to eat the same meals as my family, feel full and satisfied, and mostly not feel deprived at all. Today I ate bacon and eggs with the family...tacos for dinner with sour cream (reduced fat of course), and yes...I even got to eat a half-cup of Publix Chocolate Trinity ice cream with the rest of the family tonight....it was heaven!

So all that being said, I am ready to wrap up Week One and excited about my weigh-in tomorrow. Hopefully I will be disciplined enough to take photos of meals and actually post them...and blog a little more faithfully, but overall I am mostly happy to be staying on plan so easily.